Life is one of the most unpredictable things there is. It doesn't matter how well you think you know where you are going, or who you want to be, something will always change it.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a professional horse trainer. Snow in the big shows and compete with some of the most famous show jumpers in the world.
I wanted to complete a whole novel and send it out to publishers. I didn't plan on getting published right away or making it big...but to at least get a book finished, I'd be thrilled!
Along with those, I wanted to get married young, have children and run a home. But obviously some things don't happen the way we want them to.
That's how I saw my life going when I was sixteen.
That was three years ago. I am now nineteen as of last week, and I've recently been looking back at my life, wondering "What the heck happened?!"
What is happening with my life that makes me wonder that?
In the past year...no...in the past six months, my life has kind of taken a U-Turn.
In my last post...I broke the news that (after 4 years of waiting) we would NOT be moving back to Ontario. It was a hard hitting time and it began to feel like my life was falling apart.
We were no longer moving, my life was now NOT going to be anything like I had thought.
By staying here...I had to decide to give up the dream of owning and running a larger horse stable. Not only would it be impossible to afford enough land to do that around here, but I've realized it's just not practical for my life. It was a dream, and would never be anything more.
But as much as things fell apart, they were quickly clicking into place.
I got a job at a local store, and things there have been going so well, it almost feels like it's not real.
I started out being hired to be a cashier and do signs, but I now have several jobs there. I work in produce, grocery (stocking shelves when the shipments come in, etc), deli, cashier and signs. My work there has been tripled and I love it!
As for my dream of being a published author, I'm still holding onto that. My novel, "Evolutions" (the sci-fi-romance) I was working on, has been put on hold for a while, sadly. I have no time to write anymore, and as much as I hate that, it's just something I'll have to deal with.
I look at where I hoped to be by the time I turned 19, and I look at where I am, and I realize that they may be completely diffident places, but I am happy where I am, so I don't wish that my life had turned out differently.
I may not be a big time horse trainer, but I've tamed a high-strung mare, broken a wild horse and raised a filly.
My book may not be on the book store shelves, but the dozens of magazine articles I have written have been read by thousands of people!
Even though I'm not competing in shows, I'm creating a path for myself and working hard at a job that will support me in the future.
I may be considered weird, for being 19 and still not in a relationship (and at one point, wanting to be married by now, lol), but I know that by waiting, I'm able to prepare myself for when that time comes.
I know my life will work out the way it's meant to, and that as long as I am happy where I am, there is no reason to dread the future.
Even now I imagine where I'd like to be in 5 years...but I know in 5 years...what I have imagined and what really happens, are most likely, going to have nothing in common.